In pursuit of yogic nirvana...

When you are past forty your wives suddenly realise that THEY need healthy husbands or rather more conservatively, A HEALTHY HUSBAND around when they turn forty too, as a result of which I was forced out of bed one fine winter morning and dragged to a yoga class my wife had enrolled me into without my knowledge. On meeting my guru I clearly told him that I was not in pursuit of any packs since I had all my packs tucked in one and the only six pack I knew was the one I emptied on weekends.

What followed were weeks of aching joints caused by efforts to reach out to unexplored regions on my body (to be read as touching my toes without bending my knees), should you have any misconceptions on the regions I was trying to reach out to.

Crash course on asanas followed, and soon realised that I was half an assana all these years for not having led a healthy lifestyle. What followed were lessons on Tibetan five rites, Sufi Trance and then a briefing on aligning your life to the Meridien Organ Clock. For those like me who heard these terms for the first time, the explanations follow, but those who know what these are already, thank you for dropping by, as I figure out that you are one of those health conscious folks around.

Thanks to my guru I learnt that my body had various spinning psychic vortexes and as the spin rates reduced with aging, ill health surfaces. So in order to keep the spin rate high I had to spin. Ironically, I’m someone who earns a living as an Hydraulic Engineer telling people around me that Vortices are bad and they need to be broken or slowed down to increase the life of a rotating machinery like a centrifugal pump, Here I was being taught on how to increase the spin rate of my psychic vortex. I didn’t have the courage to tell him that after 7PM most of the nights I was on a perpetual spin and followed the motion of the earth and the universe with all earnest (though at times did try to change the course and failed).

So, as instructed I began to spin and soon realised the effect of physical spinning was way difficult to handle than the C2H5OH (In the Spirit of Chemistry!) induced spin I experience on occasional evenings just that the occasions happened every evening. Well I would have been happy if I was challenged physically with the spinning alone since that was something that I was used to. I was asked to immediately follow it up with 4 other rigorous exercises under the influence of the not so spirited spin, this I was told was what the Tibetan monks did and that I would attain monk like qualities. All I wanted was a Ferrari and never sell it and here I was being trained to be monk like. I loved the Old Monks though; they are the ones who taught me to spin the first time around.

Following this was my course on meridian organ clock where I learnt about the time of the day when my organs are up and about…I meant my liver, lung, pancreas, heart and the likes. Learnt that my liver was most active between 1AM and 3 AM, forcing me to take a tough decision on doing away with my late night binges and start as early as possible.

I should say that the one fine winter morning changed the course of my life and now I lead a life of asanas, pranayamas, Tibetan Rites and wake up to the alarms of my meridian organ clock. My advice is, follow your wife to the yoga class you are dragged to…and be sarvangassnically (Sarvangaasana = An aasana (posture) where you do a shoulder stand) in English to be head over heels in love with her for showing you the ‘steady’ path to a rejuvenated life when you spent wasting most of it trying to crack the relationship between the spin rate and the bonding between the right ethanol - water mixture.