Maid in India

In fact I had started this blog much before the diplomatic row between the two largest democracies, one more capitalistically inclined, was sparked over a socialist issue of wages and rights of a domestic worker. Before you begin reading, let me warn you this is a highly critical blog on the social trends and is written purely from an individual perspective on the issue.

My family and I have been without a maid / domestic help for the last 3 months after ours decided to take an open ended sabbatical. Though, not a live in maid, the time she has been away has been one of great introspection on the need and the role of a domestic help at home. That’s when I decided I should pen my thoughts and then came the controversy surrounding the Indian diplomat’s treatment of her maid. In the recent past we were confronted on a daily basis with news stories on the ill treatment of maids by the rich and the famous and also by the well-read and highly acclaimed citizens in India.

We have reached a stage when marriages might be made in heaven but their very sustenance is in the hands of your maid. Coming back from work to a home with beds undone, toys littered all around, dishes to be done, floors to be mopped, can be a stressful ordeal for a working, career oriented family and even prompt a review of the pre-nuptial contract clauses on shared job responsibilities.

The dependency on maids is something that I personally try and avoid particularly when you can make do without one. I understand the need of baby sitters when you have infants at home or a domestic help for a couple of hours a week to lend you a helping hand in tidying up your home. The last 3 months made me get back to the basics and also help teach my kids the dignity of labour, do your own beds, wash your dishes and keep you rooms tidy which they had come to believe was not part of their domain of activities. I gave up on my yoga and started to focus on my own version of wash-asanas and mop-asanas. They are as good for your body and soul as yoga, long distance running or pumping iron.

The dependency on domestic helps in India is an offshoot of the colonial era; unfortunately that legacy was passed on to our very own defence and bureaucratic community. This culture is so rampant that a memsahib beau with her maid in tow is a common sight. Unfortunately this dependency has made them indispensable which is definitely not a good sign. Over the years the role of a maid in or from India has been elevated to that of a Chamberlains of the Victorian era. The utilitarian aspect of a maid has given way to that of a symbol of social prominence. The more foreign your maid the more respected you are in social circles, call it a manifestation of reverse colonial hangover? ‘Chottu’ is what you call your youngest son or lovingly the domestic help if he is a young boy in most homes in the northern part of India and elsewhere. Chottu bring this, chottu do this, chottu do that, chottu fetch me this reverberates in any affluent Indian home.

The common argument for a full time maid at home I hear is a four dimensional one, people keep talking about quality space and time with their spouses and hence the help at home to take care of their little ones, wonder if the little one is not part of their space or time then the very fundamentals of a family are being questioned here. I have heard that the kids cannot eat or sleep without their maids wonder what these kids will grow up into, after experiencing a diluted motherhood since their childhood is so maid centric.