#metoo Vs #humbhi

#metoo vs #humbhi

This is definitely not going to be one of my more popular blogs. I am going to be accused of being judgmental, chauvinistic, an alpha male etc. In fact the very mention that such a blog was a work in progress drew the ire of the ladies at home.

Well, irrespective of all the brickbats I’m bound to receive, I intend expressing my perspective.  My apologies if I directly or indirectly hurt any sentiments in the following paragraphs. You may choose to leave the blog right away.

#metoo movement is opening up many a Pandora’s Box recently in elitist India namely in all the woods prefixed with Bolly, Kolly, Tolly and the likes in India, though it started off with Holly ironically one ‘l’ short of holy. This awakening in India is almost a year after it happened in the US. The time lag between a developed country and a developing one is understandable; since a social issue is no Apple IPhone to be launched simultaneously. There is a lot of difference between ROI (return of investment) of an American product and an ROI (return on interest by public around on a topic of social cause).

While I’m respectful to all the allegations brought forward in the #metoo movement in India, I need to warn future generations of aspiring celebrities to be wary of the world around you. Being a celebrity is much more difficult than climbing the corporate ladder from the lower rungs unless you have big family name towing you. Please do not be as naïve as the scion of one of the first families of Bollywood who claimed after years she was subjected to difficult situations in a place as public as an airport when all she needed to do, was to scream, since her father at that point of time would have used all influence possible to bring the perpetrators of the crime to book and ensure they are wiped of the face of the entertainment world. Now why she didn’t do that is not left to anybody’s imagination but hers?

There is another celebrity who often offers incentives to bare herself in skin and thoughts with the sole objective of encouraging the sports teams in India to perform better ends up accusing a co-star with dubious records in such matters. Well, I acknowledge that every profession new, old, or the oldest has its own dignity of labor. The fact is that, that dignity should never be exploited.

The question and the definition of consent needs to be discussed and understood by all and a teacher in California recently tried to decode the same trying to educate third graders all about consent so that they don’t end up suing people decades later.  This is certainly a step in the right direction, however what was taboo in in one generation is no longer in another.

 

That’s a quick guide to help our children learn about consent. Unfortunately this chart is being taught to third graders now. Today giving a hug is a form of greeting that is just as acceptable as a handshake was two decades back. I’m sure none of the kids these days ask for consent before they hug their friend irrespective of the gender. So apart from the third graders who are taught these consent rules everyone who has hugged without consent can technically sue the other for inappropriate behavior in the years to come, more so if he or she goes on to become a celebrity.

It’s time we turn our attention to the sizeable population of women who are going through hell every day in rural India and other parts of the world where internet and English are yet to penetrate. These women are oblivious to the #metoo campaign and the attention it is mustering miles away from them. They go through this at the hands of family members, friends and elders irrespective of their age every single day. They are always not fortunate to live to narrate a once in a lifetime incident decades later. The reason they hide this from the society is more a matter of survival than it is for the celebrities who are subjected to this. The ‘revenue’ model is different in both; the decision is between the ROI of just trying to live / survive while the ROI in the case of celebrities is to live better and longer. We need a campaign to bring these rural women out of their misery. #Humbhi / #Wetoo instead of #Metoo would be more appropriate.  Since metoo would be translated in Hindi as mehtho… which roughly means I am the way I am? That shouldn’t be the case!

Let’s pledge to bring up our sons to be respectful and daughters even braver!