From Kappa to Kubboos…The saga of a Gulf Malayalee…

I should be honest here and acknowledge that I drew inspiration for the title from a recent Telugu movie ‘Avakai Biriyani’ directed by a Malayalee, Anish Kuruvilla. Avakai the super duper spicy chunky mango pickle in oil, the pride of Telengana side of Hyderabad and Biriyani the pride of the Nawabi side of Hyderabad. This I thought was a superb title for a movie.

Well to relate this title with the Gulf malayalee what better than Kappa, Kappa or Tapioca is a common man’s staple diet back home in Kerala and Kubboos an Arabic Bread which has beaten all inflationary trends and still remains at close to 1 Dirham for a packet of 4 ( almost at 25 Cents). Again a Middle class Malayalee’s staple diet in the Gulf.

There are basically different leagues of Gulf Malayalees found in the Middle East.

a) The emigrant rural Malayalee who land’s up in urban Dubai (by the way Dubai is kind of a generic for the entire Middle East in Kerala) by virtue being related to his dad’s second cousin’s wife’s brother in law. He ends up on a visit visa and finds a job as a secretary and who within months finds a nurse from the same village as him from Kerala and marries her. His sole ambition in life is to build a palatial house back home which is atleast a square meter bigger than his immediate neighbour. He remains in this job until his kids are old enough to take over the mantle from him.

b) The kids grow up to be the second gen Mallu offspring’s of the ones described under Cat A and graduate from the kubboos to KFC’s and Big Mac’s (though they have been taught that it should be strictly once in three months cos the snack box from KFC costs Rs 144/- as per the Forex rates today). This is a confused gen. They grew up watching their dads cracking the exchange rates at the beginning of every month while they wanted a Play Station, Xbox or a MP3. Finally they get married to one of their dads friend’s daughter who was incidentally their school junior at the Indian school but only saw her at social gatherings cos the boys stream and the girls stream at the Indian schools had different timings. One of the parents decides to stay put and support their children in bringing up their grand children, under such a scenario the monthly remittance back home is 3 fold. The result being another palatial house in the middle of no where in Kerala. This is the PS3 generation, but still not liberated from the gulf parental pressures / clutches.

c) The Third type is the already Indian Metro bred Non Resident Keralites who again makes it to the Gulf on a visit visa by virtue of the benevolence of his dad’s first cousin. This type is in the Middle East with a ‘been-there-done-that’ attitude. Who has a rocking life and doesn’t end up making the kind of money the Cat A or the descendents of Cat A as described in CAT B make. Unless and until he happens to impress of one of the Cat A parent to part with his Cat B daughter.

But as the recession and low oil prices hit the Middle East, the recent days has seen an exodus of the great Indian Diaspora heading back home to an uncertain future, with the Dubai Dream shattered.